The Adventures of Zath

Thanksgiving

2007-12-18T08:23:20Z

Dear Journal,

What a wonderful Thanksgiving I had! ^-^ ...Wonderfully awkward!

Let's see, who was there, at the Thanksgiving table this year, you ask?

I, my step-mother, my step-grandmother, my step-great aunt, my father, kid sister, my evil sister, and ....Nijith. That's right, my boyfriend. At my dad's house. In the guest room.

Ever seen the movie "Meet the Parents".

^-^ Well...the experience was frustrating. The highlights:

My poor, old, incontinent dog has mistaken the guestroom for the great outdoors on numerous occasions. Despite my step-mother's best efforts, which included shampooing the carpet, the smell could not be banished.

And somehow the disgraceful state of the guest room had managed to elude my notice until the day before Nijith's arival I walked in, and the bloody place reeked to high Stovokor! I had to struggle to keep from gagging. Making someone sleep in that room would not be ethical! _ I
wasn't gonna torture Nijith by gassing him with dog piss!

I decided right then and there, that making my lover sleep apart from me on his visit was bad enough, without us testing new enhanced interrogation techniques on him. So, I decided to rip the carpet out.

My step mom had it on her agenda for quite some time. But it was a laborious time consuming task, that she'd never managed to get around too. A task that would involve safety goggles, and a crow bar, moving about of heavy furniture, nails flying about, and exhausting physical effort.
Certainly not a task that could be accomplished by one person, in one night.

...Or was it? Turns out, it was. I think I possibly have a slight bi-polar streak in me.

So, needless to say I was quite tuckered out the next day when we welcomed Nijith into our home(and he had a nice clean guest room with a wooden floor, to sleep in).

immediately my dad laid down the law. The one rule "Whatever room you are in together, keep the door open".

Throughout the course of the holiday weekend, it also came to light that also against the rules was: making out, falling asleep in each other's arms, and wearing my nightgown in front of Nijith when the old people(step-old people :P ) were around.

Before Thanksgiving dinner dad gave a prayer which turned into a little history lesson about thanksgiving. At the part were he said something(in reference to the pilgrims and the Native Americans) "Great things can happen, when two different cultures come together"

Danielle(the only person aside from me whose head wasn't bowed for the blessing) nudged me and winked, looking back and forth between Nijith and I :P

Nijith, having only been a short time in The U.S. America, had never had a Thanksgiving celebration before.

He liked the food, and expressed his Thankfulness that the Europeans had missed India and landed on the Americas instead(I personally believe, it happened because some-ah people do
not have maps.)

At the dinner table I was discussing whether or not some people are naturally evil, with The Steps.

My step-mother,a criminal prosecutor, adamantly said that some people are just pure evil.

I, a liberal arts major said that people commit violence when either 1)they have had some trauma in their lives or 2)some mental disorder or deficiency.

My step grandmother and step aunt, both school teachers recounted a story of a serial killer, who's grades had started to slip, just before he went off the deep-end

Also, Danielle regaled us with the dramatic, harrowing story of how she survived a very minor fender bender.

She also started a bit of a debate about smoking pot.

Well, soon the festivities were over and it was time to return Nijith to the Greyhound station. Nikki and I went along with my dad and Nijith, to see him off.

We sped through downtown to get to the station, because we were running behind schedule, and didn't want Nijith to miss his bus. For once, dad managed to speed through down town without going the wrong way on any one way streets.

When we arrived at the station, my dad let me go in with Nijith to see him off.

As I walked away from the car, my dad shouted at me "Hey! Where's your jacket!?" "In the car," I said "I'll be right back!" and I tried to hurry into the station with Nijith.

But then, my dad shoved my satchel and my jacket out the window, insisting that I take them "Just in case". I was kind of annoyed at him for shoving the jacket and satchel at me when I already had my hands full carrying Nijith's bag of Thanksgiving left overs. I suspected perhaps it was a secret plot of my dads, so that my hands would be too full to make out with Nijith, while I said goodbye.

In the station, I waited in line with Nijith for the ticket counter. Oddly, when we were almost to the counter Nijith turned to me and said awkwardly "Hey...could you give these other people in line some room?"

And I stared at him blankly not knowing if he was for no apparent reason trying to imply that I was fat "Er...What?"

"Um." he said "Could you just go stand over there?" he pointed to a place just outside the ticket counter line. I went and stood over there, but I was thinking, he must have been really confused about something, because he and i were both going to be leaving the line at the same time...so me being there wasn't the line up from anyone. Nijith is a weird guy sometimes.

Finally, he was out of the line. I tried to hand his bag of food to him, and said "Well, I guess I'd better say goodbye, now."

"Hey, c'mon," he said, and motioned for me to follow him. He completely bypassed security, and walked straight out to the big garage where all the busses were. I was kind of worried, because I didn't think I'd be allowed to wait with him out there since I was not a passenger, and worried that I'd get in trouble.

Once were were out there, I tried to hand off the bag to him again, and said goodbye, but he didn't it, hurriedly motioned for me to follow him once more. I was kind of concerned, and wondered if he'd kind of forgotten what he was doing or something. Maybe just wasn't thinking about the fact that I was following him.

I would've just walked away, if it weren't for that bag of food that I was still carrying. He lead me between some massive, loud busses. Then, we were right outside the door to his bus.

Just outside of the garage, I could see me dad and sister, standing next to the car, my dad was waving at me. I waved back at him, and made a gesture that was meant to indicate "I'll be there in just a minute ^-^; "

"Well, I guess I'd better kiss you good bye now." I said to Nijith. And forcefully tried to push the bag of food into his hand. Then, he said "C'mon, c'mon the bus."

I was rather taken aback. "Nijith, I really don't think I can wait with you on the bus --- Oh...well..."

And he hurried onto the bus, without grabbing his back of food. I gestured one last time to my dad "i'll be right back" and got on board, just as the driver was getting off.

I didn't know if he just didn't notice me, or what. But, in case he did, I tried vaguely to make a gesture of "I'm only staying on for a minute. Just waiting with my boyfriend, you see". :P

Nijith went to the back of the bus, and found some seats that weren't too immersed in the eau de toilette emanating from the lavatory.

"Sit down." He said. "Nijith! I really need to go! The bus is gonna leave soon." I replied in credulously. "Sit *down*" he again insisted.

"Nijith! I've really gotta go! The bus is gonna leave soon! You're gonna cause me to stow away! Plus, my dad just saw me get on board, he probably already thinks I'm trying to run away."

"Zath!" He said "Come with me!"

I was very confused and taken aback. You know that part on the new Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie? Where Trisha very suddenly asks Arthur to go to Madagascar with her?

Well... That's what seemed to be going on with Nijith. And that was waaay out of character for him.

"What!? I can't go with you! I don't even have a ticket!"

"Yes you do." he said calmly.

"No I don't! I don't even believe you! What are you talking about."

Diary, i was sooo confused. Even more so when he showed me a ticket with my name on it. My eyes started welling up with tears and my voice started to tremble, just because I was so confused, and having such a difficult time of getting a handle on what was going on.

"Nijith! Where did you get this ticket!? My dad's gonna be really upset! I'm gonna get in really big trouble! I *can't* go with you!"

Then, he told me that my dad knew about the ticket, and that it was my dad who bought the ticket. I was still really confused.

"But Nijith, I didn't bring any clothes with me or anything! I can't just leave!"

And then he said that it was Ok, because I was only going with him along for the trip and then returning that night.

Well, I was still pretty much freaking out. So, i called my dad on the phone, and made Nijith talk to him.

Nijith told my dad that I didn't believe him. Then, he gave me the phone and my dad explained that he had decided to let me ride along with Nijith as a surprise so I could have some extra time with him ^_^

I had kind of a hard time settling down because the whole thing had thrown off my plans for the day, but after I settled in, it turned out to be a really nice bus ride, and it was fun to get some extra time with Nijith.

We watched some silly movie that was playing on the bus, where all the characters were acting waaaay over emotional. Also, we finally got to sleep together in peace. I fell asleep with my head on Nijith's shoulder, and he fell asleep with his head on my head.

It was a three hour bus ride. When we finally got there, it was about three more hours until my bus would get there to take me back home. So, Nijith and I decided to go to a restaurant together. In the restaurant there was a TV show on, about some girls who could talk to ghosts or something.

I had some beans and spicy rice ^-^ The rice was too spicy though, so I added sour cream to it.

I called my dad on the phone(I had to use Nijith's phone because mine doesn't work out of town) and told him that riding the bus so late at night is probably not very safe and that it would probably be more convenient for him to pick me up in the morning instead of after midnight(when my bus would be arriving home). I informed him that it would be no extra cost for me to just stay the night with Nijith and catch a bus the next day ^-^;;;

My dad disagreed, and quite firmly insisted that I return that night.

So, sadly, Nijith and I went back to the bus station. At this greyhound station, they didn't let you in if you didn't have a ticket(which is different from the bus station here. I always wait with Nijith in the station), Nijith was kind of mad at them for not letting him come in and wait with me.

So I had to wait for my bus alone, which made me kind of nervous because my phone wasn't working at all.

So, I waited in this really long line to get on my bus, but for some reason, they were taking forever to start boarding. Some guy standing in line behind me was telling me that my eyes looked empty and soulless, and that it was because I didn't have faith in the lord or something. _ I really hoped he wasn't gonna sit next to me on the bus.

When I got on the bus, they told me there were no more seats!(which sometimes does happen, because they overbook). But then, the driver moved some stuff around, and made a place for me up at the front of the bus, behind the driver seat.

I was glad that the bus was so crowded, because it meant that guy couldn't sit by me.

But, when I first got on the bus, there was this really really really loud high pitched sound going on.

It was like beeping, only constant. I wasn't sure what it was, but it seemed like it was coming from somewhere around the dashboard maybe. The driver wasn't on the bus yet, and the bus was just idling. I had my hands up over my ears, but the sound still made it feel like my head was fixing to split open or something.

I was hoping the sound would stop by the time the driver got on the bus, and started the bus up. I decided that if it didn't, I was going to get off the bus. Well, the driver was taking quite a long time to get back, so a couple of times I kept thinking about just getting up, and trying to push the door open, and get off the bus right away. But, I was worried what if I tried to push the door open and it wouldn't open, then I might wind up, idk -panicking or breaking the door or something, and get in quite a bit of trouble.

It then occurred to me that i could go to the back of the bus and wait in the lavatory, and it would probably be better, but then the driver came back.

Fortunately, the sounds stopped once he started driving and I was immensely relieved! ^_^

The trip back was pretty cool. It was dark, and I love traveling at night. Sometimes we passed interesting lights, but mostly it was through country landscape.

The trip was also very exciting. Exciting because the door was broken, and kept flying open while we were driving 0_o

It was terribly amusing ^-^ Also very cold and kind of scary, because I was sitting right near the door _ The driver seemed to have it fixed for a while, but then it seemed some kind of latch broke and the door would no longer stay shut at all. So, we were just traveling at high speed
with the door open, and we were in quite a rural area, far from a city, it seemed.

The driver was getting very upset, and nervous, hitting his steering wheel saying "Shit! This is terrible! Terrible!" Then, we pullled over to the side of the road (I was worried that there might be some problem in addition to the door, such as: perhaps we had run out of gas.)

So, he stopped the bus, and kept trying to figure a way to fix the door. Slamming it, and pressing orange buttons on his dash board. For some reason, that horrible sound came back on again. So, I curled up on my seat and covered my ears, hoping that sound would go off again soon _

Finally, the driver managed to get the door shut with some string. The string was tied from the door, across the isle to his seat somewhere, and it seemed to work ok because the door didn't come back open again ^_^

And, when we left again, the sound went off again.

My dad managed to get through to me on the phone, when i was closer, and asked me what was taking so long (he probably thought that Nijith and I were executing some secret plot to allow me to spend the night.):P

When I got back into down town, it was really pretty, and I saw some really nice Christmas lights, and also really neat looking regular down town lights.

My dad picked me up at the Greyhound station, and took me back home.

So, my Thanksgiving consisted of informative cultural exchanges, in depth discussions about mind altering drugs, sexual frustration, and then practically being kidnapped on a greyhound bus.

All in all, it was a very exciting Thanksgiving ^-^

Karma and Cat Litter

2007-04-04T21:09:28Z

Dear Journal,

Wow, i haven't written here in such a long long long time! And, I really miss it. So much has gone on in my life, that I should have written about! For example, a few months back when Danielle locked me out of the house and made me sleep out in the car, in freezing cold weather...

But, I don't have time to write about that now(I do however, have time to reference it though, just so you can get an understanding of why my shadenfruede in the following story, is justified...)

Last weekend my mom and sister Danielle moved to Arizona. I accompanied them on the trip, to help with the move and flew back on monday. Sascha and Lenore, our two cats came along too. My beloved Sascha is going to live there for now, but I'll be able to come and visit him.

As can be expected from a car trip with Danielle, she was a complete jerk. Constantly berating, and picking on me, and generally causing trouble despite my mother's best efforts to get her to behave.

I think the main reason she was upset with me, might have been because my presence there meant that she did not get the front seat all to herself, we alternated every hour and 1/2.

She was even cruel to Sascha, out of spite for me. Now what kind of a person does that!? Starts squishing a cat, and making him cry in pain, to upset a person their mad at? A very mean person.
But, fate avenged both Sascha and I, in a most fittingly ironic way ^_^...

You see, we had a litter box in the car with us, for Sascha and Lenore to use. We stopped at a hotel one night (the cats used the litter box), any my mom repacked the car the next day. When we left the hotel, it was my turn for the back seat.There was only one available seat in the back, because the car was packed so full. And, the way she repacked the car, the (used!)litter box was right above that one usable seat.

and as soon as I saw it I thought "oh, damn. That litter box is going to fall on my head, at some point, for sure. ._." And so, everytime my mom would come to an abrupt stop, I'd put my hand up to keep the thing from falling on me. But, i had pretty much resigned myself to the trajic fact that the thing would fall on my head, eventually.

But then, while I was sitting in the front, and Dani in the back, on the LAST LEG OF THE JOURNEY(i.e., the only leg that it didn't particularly matter to me if litter was spilled all over the back seat, because I didn't have to sit back there any more^_^) The car came to an abrupt stop, and all of the sudden from the back seat came an indignat shout of "Ewwwwwwww! Cat
litter just fell all over me!!!!!!"

It was like an epiphany! Wow...it never occurred to me that it might fall on her instead of me I thought as I sat in speechless awe. She loudly continued a vitriolic tirade about the injustice of the whole sitution, and how angry she was at everyone. I (being slightly scared of her and not wanting to further piss her off), attempted to seem sympathetic, only to erupt into hysterical fits of laughter, mid-pseudo-sympathic sentence.

...It's almost enough to convince me of the existence of karma.

That was actually quite an exciting trip ^_^ Other highlights included:

sneaking cats into a hotel, meeting an angsty anarchist(i guess there isn't really any other kind), getting april fooled by a friend over AIM that he was in prison, and getting caught in a hail storm on a long stretch of deserted country road during a tornado warning.

Anyhow, that's my story for now, and I do plan on writing more! I'm off to go work on(or more likely procrastinate on working on) a paper for WRC2.

zath_42 @ 2006-12-13T20:18:00

2006-12-13T20:18:59Z

Dear Journal,

I am finally on Christmas break. Geez, i'm so glad, i feel exhausted. Like i've been running a very long race or somemthing, and finally get a chance to rest. This was the most stressful semester ever. That is the last time I ever register for classes on two different campuses. I was always in such a hurry to catch the bus, it was crazy.

This was the first semester of college I ever had an abscence. I wound up in the counseler's office crying about it. Pathetic, I know.

Also, I've scheduled it so that...

OMG...I'm interupting myself but, zark, I just love this song. How did Colin Meloy get so much cool? Not fair.

Anyhow, I've scheduled it so that I don't have any morning classes, so that way if I go over to my father's House and catch the bus to get back to school the next day, I wont have to worry about being late for class.

In other news, I'm over at my mom's house today. My uncle is over here for a visit. I haven't seen him in quite some time, I guess since I was around nine years old.

He was going to stay in a hotel, but my mom didn't think that was right, so she generously offered up my room.

And then, she gave him almost all the blankets in the house, as extra blankets to put at the foot of his bed in case he gets cold. So, I wound up sleeping on the couch, with half of me covered by a towel, and the other half covered by a blanket that is meant to get thrown over the back of a couch, so it is too short to cover me.

But, this is one of the many reasons towels are so massively useful.

Any how, my uncle is a professor of computer sciences, and a bonafide genius. His I.Q. is in the 160's. He used to be a member of MENSA, but dropped out because it was boring, and he didn't want to keep paying membership dues.

He said they would mostly get together and play games like scrabble and battleship.

Idk, i expected they'd get together and plot world domination or something, or at least play chess. But, no, they didn't even have chess 0_o

He is a big sci-fi fan, and we like to talk about Star Trek together. It sucks how so few Trekkies there are left these days.

Anyhow, the dude's a total aspie ^_^

But, right now he and my mom are in the living room looking at old photos, and I was getting extremely bored.

He has this entire notebook full of my family's geneology. It would be interesting, except he and my mom will only talk to eachother, and acknowege me only rather begrudgingly. I could tell I was annoying them, so maybe I can just look at the notebook later. They're brother and sister, so I guess they have a lot to catch up on after all these years.

Idk what I'd do if I hadn't seen Nikki in 11 years. I'd be really sad actually. But, it's also been a very long time since last I saw Summer. Maybe I should make some kind of geneology notebook to show her when I go there for a visit? But, we only share geneology on my father's side, not my mother's, so I wouldn't be able to get as much info, that was common to us both.

Maybe I could bring some other kind of intersting notebook.

I've stolen the notebook of my psychological/nerological evaluations and diagnoses my father keeps(it's rightfully mine anyhow, it's not right someone should keep an entire notebook of what's in someone else's head. it's creepy.)

Maybe Summer would find that interesting. Unfortunately, I wrapped that notebook up in tape, but i guess i could untape it.

Or, i could bring my scrapbook of death, but that might just freak her out.

Oy, anyhow last night i had this terrible dream that I had forgotten to take one of my final exams, and there was no way the bus could get me there on time. i was completely panicking.

I was so relieved to wake up and notice that it was just a dream :P

Hmmm...anything else interesting going on lately? Well, possibly my mom, uncle, and I are going to go out and see the sights which should be enjoyable. Christmas lights are always neat. Except for when they're all white. Then they suck.

Oh, also, my roommate Alex tricked me into drinking pancake batter, so I put saran wrap over the toilet under the seat (though she *claims* to have noticed it before sitting down :P), so now we are in an all out prank war, just like House and Wilson

DON'T FORGET, ALEX! TO BE CONTINUED AFTER CHRISTMAS BREAK!!!!

Sorry Jose, I didn't take your advice...but, stuff on House just looks like so much fun! I had to do it!

Anyhow, my life has been kind of boring lately

I'm gonna go read a House/Wilson fanfic.

zath_42 @ 2006-12-02T03:43:00

2006-12-02T03:43:42Z

Dear Journal,

Well, it's been a very very very long time since I last I wrote here, and I miss it. I've been very busy this semester, I think next semester is going to be better (hopefully). I'm not going to have classes on fridays anyhow, so that should be good at least.

Well, my mom's house is finally clean.

It used to be that every time I was over at my mom's house she would stay in bed all day and just, be really depressed. But not anymore. Because a few weeks ago, my mom was asking me if my little sister was starting to like my step-mom more than she liked my mom,

and I said that it was a possibility, because my step-mom is a lot more interactive than she is, and it's difficult to maintain an emotional attatchment to a person who just sleeps all the time.

And, she told me that I made a good point,
So for the first time in years, instead of getting up in the late afternoon and then getting back in bed and taking naps until bed time, she wakes up and has fun with my sister and I(nikki, not usuallly Dani. Dani is usually at her boyfriend Edward's house)! ^_^

It makes me very happy, because it used to be that when she would just sleep she would never have any food at her house when we went over there(I think maybe most of the food she ate came from drive throughs), and her whole house would be a huge mess with a lot of trash on the floor, and the whole house would smell of cat urine because she never cleaned the litter box, and things would just be very bad, and I told her it was a lot like a third world country.

But then, a few weeks ago, she called me on the phone really excited, and told me that her house didn't look like a third world country any more. And when I went over I saw that the whole place looked great, and she said "doesn't look like a third world country anymore, does it?" and I said "hmmm...second world. ...Maybe Kazakstan. Just kidding! It looks great!"

(did you know Kazakstan wants to sue Sasha Barron Coen for making them look so backward and primitive in the movie Borat? Alex and I went to see it on thanksgiving.I didn't understand a lot of the humor, but it was kind of interesting to see how people in the movie reacted. ...kind of makes me worry about the U.S.)

So, anyhow, now she gets up in the morning, and we eat pancakes and play scrabble, and we're going to decorate for christmas.

Anyhow, my mom and I have recently discovered that we really love to play Scrabble(Just like Arthur Dent! :P). Last time, I got thirteen points by spelling the word "Lesbians" ^_^ Yay! ...Yeah...but she still won. But, by only by a few points.

Anyhow, guess what. I'm going on vacation to visit my older sister this Christmas break. My dad was so taken aback, when I actually saved the money to buy my own ticket. I think he fears that I'm going there to try to run away.

I really look forward to going there. I haven't been back home since I was 11. Also, I havn't seen my brother in law since then(before he was even my brother in law) and I've only seen my sister once since then, when I was thirteen.

So, I'm really looking forward to seeing them. But, most of all, I'm looking forward to the weather. Nervous about the actual trip itself, but also, I think my dad's reaction is hilarious.

He was really condescending when first I told him I was planning a trip to visit my sister(I think he thinks I can't arrange anything on my own), and on the day I told him that I had all the money saved up, that I needed, and had found online a good price for a ticket, he was shocked.

And, he kept asking all these questions, like whether or not i'd talked to Summer about it(while, we'd been planning it for months), and whether she knew that I was a vegan(of coarse she does! She's my sister!)

He even talked to her on the phone, for the first time in years, to ask her about it!

He tried to convince me to save my money because he "MIGHT" decide to give me a ticket as a christmas gift, but he "wasn't sure yet",and I'd have to wait becaus he'd "have to look into it". :P

And, my dad said that I needed to save ALL THAT MONEY I was going to use for my ticket, because I had no idea the massive ammount of spending money i was going to need while I was there. ...What kind of a vacation requires 300$ spending money!? I'm not even staying in a hotel, i'm staying in my sister's house!

I think I'll try to bring about 100$ worth of spending money, if I can, but
I'm only staying for a week, that's no more than 50$ worth of groceries!

buy it for me as a christmas gift,
Yeah right. He's just mad that i'm buying my own ticket, because he just wants to be able to say dumb things like "do this, or I wont let you go."

So, I told him "well, i was planning on saving spending money after I bought the ticket, so I could buy the ticket and get a good price."

and I told him, look, how about I'll buy the ticket now, and if later you do decide that you want to give it to me as a christmas present, you can just reimburse me the price of the ticket, and I can use that as spending money if you want.

geez, it's a good thing i'm not nearly as dumb as my dad thinks I am.

Also, my step-mom tried to cheat me out of one day of the trip buy saying she always flys with Southwest Airlines, and that I should too, and that they were all sold out on the day I wanted to leave.

and I was like "0_o no thanks, I've already found a ticket, that leaves on the day I was planning, and it's a better price, and it's not on southwest" and she was like, "what airline is it?" and I said "Northwest",

and now i see that that's actually pretty humorous, not southwest, but northwest :P

so, now I have the ticket ^_^

Anyhow, so that's what's going on in my life right now ^_^ I plan to write more soon.

Absent Professor, and Dorks who Spend the Whole Class Waiting.

2006-10-20T14:47:43Z

Here we sit, the loyal six, our professor is 31 minutes late.

Everyone else left, and this class ends in 19 minutes, yet we remain vigilent.

Two are reading books, two type on lap-tops, and two socialize.

Waiting for the professor.

Hoping.

That he will walk through that door, before 9:50 A.M.,

And, smile upon those socially awkward few, the 6 out of 50; to whom he can so relate, who lacking in anything better to do...waited.

And upon seeing such, give us extra credit.

...

We're down to five.

zath_42 @ 2006-09-18T07:08:00

2006-09-18T12:41:19Z

Dear Journal,

I keep having bad dreams lately, I don't know why. Last night I dreamt that somehow I got sent to some really depressing college. I lived in the dorms there and it was a lot like UTSA, although everyone there was really nervous and sullen and I didn't know why. (Also, even though it was in China, everyone spoke English 0_o)

Then, on the second day that I was there, this girl came to my door and gave me a message from some General. And, the message said that I didn't do enough work the day before, and if I wasn't careful I was going to get in really big trouble. And then I realized that was why everyone acted so nervous because they were afraid they'd get in trouble with that general.

Anyhow, the whole place was just really depressing, and I was really homesick. The whole place was really strict and it seemed like everyone was scared of that general guy- I woke up before i ever got the chance to meet him, but he still made me really nervous.

And, also, I didn't make any friends at the school, so I started walking around talking to an imaginary friend, but I was afraid that somehow I was just going to get in trouble for that-or declared insane or something. So, yeah, the whole thing was just weird. Maybe I dreamt it because my sister's friend just got sent to military school. Anyhow, I've got to go to class now.

zath_42 @ 2006-09-16T20:24:00

2006-09-17T03:13:41Z

Dear Journal,

Last night I had a nightmare that Neelix turned evil and almost killed Captain Janeway and it was really scary.

...Actually I've kind of been having a lot of nightmares lately, but most of them have been based on Hamlet.

Anyhow, watch this music video:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5bruFXOy9qs

It's a Star Trek: Voyager music video, done to the song "Aliens are Real".

I remember when I was about 7 years old. I used to watch Star Trek: TNG, but it gave me this HUGE paranoia, considering that before I ever watched it I had big time alien abduction fear(from something I saw on TV at age 4).

I was scared that somehow, some night when I was asleep in my bed, the crew of Enterprise was going to try to beam up the landing party, but target the transporter wrong and accidentally beam up me instead, and I'd never be able to get back home.

Anyhow, that's what the music video kind of reminded me of ^_^

Also, today I was watching tuesday's episode of House which I recorded. I solved the case before House did!!!

There was this 7 year old kid who had these really weird symptoms, and he kept insisting that he was getting abducted by aliens.

Then, at one point, when the team found that the kid had two sets of DNA, they started believing that he had really been abducted by aliens. But not me! I was shouting at the TV, and I was like "No! There's a logical medical explanation! He's a chimara!"

(I was proud of this, because until the age of 15 -when I read an article in a science magazine and realized how irrational my life long obsession was- i was obsessed with UFOs and Alien Abduction, and at any opprotunity, aliens were the explaination I would turn to. So, I was glad to see that I was fully cured of this, and am even more logical then characters on House ^_^)

And then, later, toward the end of the episode, House said "What if he isn't a person?"

and Cameron was like, sarcastically, "yeah, the aliens replaced him",

and I was like, "No! He's two people!" and House was like "What if he's two people?" And I was like
"Yeah!!! I knew it!!!"

Because, I knew that chimarism could make him have two sets of DNA. It happens in utero when two fraternal twins merge. Interestingly, if the twins were of
opposite sex, true hermaphraditism results.

Anyhow, I had a somewhat interesting time late last night at a bus station.

I got to the park and ride, and I sat down next to a guy on a bench, just outside the building with glass walls and a bunch of chairs. "My boy just got sent to jail!" He said when I sat down. "He did?" I said, "What for?" "For starting fights!" he said

"For starting fights? That's terrible." I said. It made me a little nervous, because it demonstrated how rough and tumble the bus station can be at night.

Anyhow, a little time went by, and two people came to the bus stop, vibrantly dressed in bright colors, heavy make-up, and short skirts, and they went inside the building with glass walls and a bunch of chairs.

Then, the young man sitting next to me started making a fuss. "Woah! I thought they were really girls at first! Those are men! That's disgusting!"

And he started shouting at everyone who passed by "Don't go in there! Theye're really men! Don't look at them!"

And I started telling him, that his prejudice was unwarrented, that they had just as much right to be there as he did, that they weren't hurting anyone, that they had the right to express themselves in the way they wanted, and that it was erroneous to assume that one's biology need
necessarily dictate one's gender expression.

And he said "What? Your'e angry at ME now!?" And I said calmly "No, not angry, simply attempting to clarify a misunderstanding." I also made it clear that he was certainly entitled to express his opinion, (just as the two ladies inside the building were, and just as I was, to the opinion I was expressing)

(All the while I was thinking "Oh my god, I'm going to be in so much trouble with my dad if I get this guy mad enough to punch me.")

Then, the man standing to the left of this fellow who was causing a roucus came over to me, and said "What are you saying?"

And I said "I was merely expressing my views on transgenderism, and why I don't think it's right to judge people." he said "I agree! I get judged all the time! I say, to each his own!"

And, he was very nice, and we both agreed that this angry young man on the bench was being terribly rude, and also that people who hold prejudices and judge others are miserable people, and
that rude guy left.

And the other guy, the one who agreed with me, said "I'm Roger." And I said "I'm zath." And he said "It's very nice to meet you zath! I enjoy your company!" And he sat down and we talked a good long while. He told me that he likes art, and someday he wants to go back to school and become an artist. Hopefully in the comic book or video game industry.

Anyhow, my older sister said that it was dangerous, and I should have stayed quiet, because it would break her heart if I got hurt simply because I didn't hold my tongue.

But, I told her it would break my heart to be spared from harm, simply because I was too coward to do the right thing because that's an undeserved kind of safety that one gains in a most dishonerable of ways(I doubt many will agree with me, but that's my story and i'm sticking to it.)

(though, I can't with any certainty say I'd live up to that had it not been a well lit area with police officers about. Although, I did once stop two people from getting into a physical fight, by getting inbetween them, and there were no police around then. There was a rather large crowd of idiots standing around though, encoraging them to fight.That's a story for another day.)

Anyhow, that jerk was the one being a coward, by shouting at everyone not to look at those two, and not having the courage to go inside and say anything to them directly, and those two ladies were being really brave and noble to be themselves regardless of what other people think.

Geez, how would that guy feel if someone started shouting at everyone not to look at him, or go into the same building as him? I asked him and he said he woudln't care, but still even if he wouldn't care if it happened to him, it's pretty rude to do it to those two people who he doesn't even know because they probably wouldn't like that very much.

Anyhow, I was really glad to meet Roger. He was a really swell guy and I really hope he achieves his dream of becoming an artist. He's from California. He said he doesn't like Texas much, and we both complained about the weather.

Soon my dad came and took me home, and my sister was at home celebrating her birthday with some friends over including her boyfrind Eben. She invited Eben to come to the Gayla that I'm going to that Lambda alliance is hosting.

It's going to be really cool, a kind of masquerade ball, like on Phantom of the opera. I havn't gotten a costume yet, but I do want to find something really good. A halloween costume yet formal. I did find a phantom of the opera costume at wal-mart that I almost bought,

but i dont' know. It's almost too perfect. Maybe I'll find something more creative.

But yeah, anyhow I joined two clubs, Athiest Agenda and Lambda Alliance, both of which are just smashing.

Oooh! I have an anecdote about something clever I said at the last Lambda alliance meeting, that made everyone start applauding!

We were trying to figure out what our theme for best-fest should be. The over all theme is called something like "Pick a decade". So, each booth is to be themed with a specific decade, you know, poodle skirts, or fedoras, or bell-bottoms; that sort of a thing. So, we were trying to pick a decade, and we had come to the realization that the majority of the group wanted to do a decade in the future.

The president of the group said that he wasn't certain we were aloud, and though they didn't specify, that he thinks they mean a decade in the 20th century. He said he'd check to make sure it was OK first.

Then, I raised my hand and said "What I think is, It's easier to ask forgivness than permission. I say, we just show up dressed in future clothes."

Everyone started clapping, and high fiving, and saying things like "Easier to ask forgivness than permission! I like the way you think!", and we decided to do that ^_^

Actually, I was quoting my mother's philosophy^_^ So, afterwords I called her on the phone and thanked her for that line.

Also, Lamda is a fun bunch of people, last meeting, somehow discussion fell on the topic of zombie dinosaurs with machine guns.

Which I thought was funny because last week at dinner with atheist agenda the topic of conversation was zombie vampire ghosts. At least, I think that's what it was. It was a ghost, and a zombie, and soemthing else, I think vampire...

Anyhow, I love that club^_^ So full of snark, like being in a room full of Dr. Houses.

Well, I'm tired. I'll write more later sometime. Good night.

Non-Verbal Communication

2006-08-31T17:40:27Z

An attempt at poetry. :-P

...

Affection, inflection and facial expression and pretense of fluency

In some non-verbal secret code comparable to telepathy

They make believe that an eye or a pose can convey hate or empathy

But this mystical tongue of meaningless words merely adumbrates reality

It isn't quite clear why they hold so dear the arduous inefficiency

Of this sophistic, specious language system based on blatant fallacy

When its human nature to only see whatever one expects to see

And eargerly presume a sense of perfect uniformity

When dancing a dance of countenance, they divulge little yet beguilingly

So dancers dancing out of time perceive only synchronicity

An elegant solution that lets ignorants live blissfully.

But they are volitile chemicals stored in common vicinity

Encapsulated, separated, regardless of proximity

Calculated to maintain the illusion of civility

To give unstable people the delusion of stability

But oh what a marvelously explosive reaction there would surely be

If lying mouths and deceptive eyes portrayed what they pretend to see.

Survey

2006-08-22T02:10:16Z

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
I don't pay bills.

2. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
Unknown

3. Last time you Puked from Drinking?
I never have puked from drinking alcohol, but I actually have come pretty close from drinking too much water.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
Never, fortunately.

5. Name of your First Grade Teacher?
Ms. Moore

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Comanding a Star Ship.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A Scientist

8. Did you achieve this goal?
No.

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
Because now, I have 10 black T-shirts, so I can wear the same kind of thing everyday and never have to worry about questions like that.

10. Gas Prices! First Thought
Bus

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you who would it be?
On board the Star Ship Enterprise: NCC-1701-D, and I'd take Sascha.

12. First Thought When the alarm went off this morning?
"I hope my alarm does not disturb my roommate, I'd better hurry and turn it off."

13. Last thought before Falling asleep last night?
I was thinking of how, when you sleep, you have to temporarily lose your mind.

14. Favorite style of Underwear?
Large white briefs.

15. Favorite style of Underwear for the opposite sex?
Large white briefs.

16. What Errand/Chore do you despise?
Cat Litter

17. If you didn't have to work would you?

Well, right now school is my work, and I think even if I wasn't in school I'd want to do SOME kind of work. But, I have to say, if I somehow got a million dollars or something, I don't think I'd have an actual JOB, per se, but rather I'd find my own more fun/interesting work to do.

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Get up early.

19. Your Favorite Cartoon Character?
Aladin

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Have intellectual discoarse about physics, philosophy, or Star Trek, over a cup of tea. Alternatively; watch Star Trek with them.

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
0_o how could something be a secret if I didn't mind everyone knowing?

22. What was your First Car?
I never did have a car to my name, per se, but my dad had a car that was his that he was trying to teach me to drive in, which was called a Lincoln Town Car, and I had named it The Enterprise, but it was too big.

23. Your Best Yo Mamma Joke?
I don't know any good ones. Someone was saying Yo Mamma Jokes to my little sister once though when she was like, nine, and she started fake crying, and said "My mother is dead." and the guy was like "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry." and she was like "Just kidding."

24. Your Favorite Lunch Meat?
I don't eat meat.

25. What do you get everytime you go into a Chilis?
I don't go to Chilis.

26. Beach Or Lake?
Lake

27. Do you think Marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
yes.

28. Who do you "stalk" on myspace?
No one.

29. Favorite Guilty Pleasure?
I tend to think guilt and pleasure are mutually exclusive.

30. Favorite Movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
Actually, I rather like the movie Aladin, which some people might think is strange but I don't mind if they know it.

31. What's your drink?
Water

32. Cowboys or Indians?
It depends on the individual Cowboys and the individual Indians.

33. Cops or Robbers?
Again, it really depends on a lot of factors. Who are these cops? Are they corrupt cops, abusing their power for personal gain and excessive social control? Or, are they good brave cops, saving people's lives, and upholding truth and justice?

Who are these robbers? Are they pernicious odious vandals, stealing what they don't need? Are they stealing because it's the only way to feed themselves and their families? Are they stealing back what's theirs, or maybe robbing the rich to feed the poor?

I guess I'd really need to know more about the situation.

34. Do you cheer for the bad guy?
Sometimes I can't tell whose intended to be the good guy and the bad guy. Usually when I watch movies and TV shows, I pick one character, the character I best relate to, and try to watch the movie from that character's point of view.

It's kind of a throw back to when my sisters and I were kids, and anytime we watched a movie we all decided which character we were and shouted "I'm that one!" "I'm that one!" and pretended to be those characters.

35. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
I don't think I resemble any of them.

36. If you had to pick one, which cast member of Lost would you be?
I have never seen Lost.

37. What do you want when you are sick?
Get better.

38. Who from High School would you like to run into?
Ryoko

39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I don't have a car. But, the radio station I most often listen to is NPR.

41. Stiffler or Oz?
Unknown.

42. Norm or Cliff?
Unknown.

43. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Simpsons

44. Worst Relationship Mistake that you wish you could take back?
Trying to date.

45. Do you Like the Person who sits directly across from you at work?
No one sits accross from me at work.

47. What Famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Spock

48. What famous Person would you like to sleep with?
None of them.

49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
No, but almost once.

50. Last book you read for real?
Oryx and Crake

51. Do you have a teddy bear?
I think I have one packed up somewhere. Mostly I have plush trains.

52. Strangest Place you have ever brushed your teeth?
I guess the school bathroom, but I don't know if that's strange or not.

53. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
I've never been anywhere in California. I've heard of the Hotel of California, but it sounds very creepy. My dad says the Pacific Ocean is very pretty, so maybe I'd go there.

54. What is your favorite food?
Rice

55. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship?
I wouldn't mind starting a new platonic relationship.

56. Do you go to church?
no

57. Pencil or Pen?
well, if it's for writing: pen. Drawing: pencil.

58. Describe your favorite Day?
The day I went on this field trip with the JROTC to a very old warship and spent the night on board.

59. How many jobs have you had?'
two

60. What would be your "dream job"?
Just about anything Star Fleet had to offer. ...eccept maybe a red-shirted ensign type job...

61. What do you want to achieve in life?
special education reform and maybe write a few though provoking books. Get along with people, get a bit of walking in, that sort of thing.

zath_42 @ 2006-08-21T15:43:00

2006-08-21T21:21:47Z

First off, let me just say, I've been fighting with my father. Basically, the fights have been about me being weird. He's upset about my political opinions, my habits, my interests, and also my way of dressing(none of which are harmful to anyone).

What he seems to be most upset about is my lack of interest in fitting in. While I admit that ingratiating oneself with someone for an important allaince makes sense, an employer for example,

In my personal life, fitting in, in and of itself, for purely social/recreational purposes is of no interest to me. It's not something I'd go out of my way for. I'll be myself as long as I'm respectful and not hurting anybody. And the people I tend to "push away", are the people I'd rather not be friends with anyhow because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

I have two stories to tell. One, took place during my freshman and sophomore years of high school, and the other took place last night.

All through my freshman year of high school, I wore a pair of very unusual, hot-pink, plastic shoes. I ALWAYS got made fun of for it. But, I didn't care, because I rather liked those shoes, and if other people didn't, that was their right.

By the end of freshman year, those shoes had worn out, and I had found a more comfortable kind of shoe anyhow.

At the start of sophomore year, I was astonished to discover that half the student population was wearing the very same kind of plastic shoes they had made fun of me for the previous year, and those shoes had now become quite popular.

Last night, I was at a meeting, for the residents of the dormatory. We were all standing in the hallway listening to the R.A. We had been standing in the hall for quite some time, it was becoming quite clear that everyone was getting uncomfortable, I know I was. So, even though everyone else was standing, I sat down on the floor. Within seconds, upon seeing someone else do it first, sitting on the floor had become the popular thing to do.

It's us weirdos who pave the way for progress.

We have been called many things, depending on when and where we are:
witches, radicals, insane, learning disabled, dissenters, geniuses, idiots, eccentrics, revolutionaries, disturbed, heretics.

We're constantly told to sit down, shut up, and do things the "right" way.

And, because we refuse: every great master piece in existence was created, women can vote and wear pants, The theory of relativity was discovered, people can love whomever they want to love, computers were invented, and slavery was abolished.

How ammusingly arrogant it is when people make the assumption that if you don't do things their way, you don't know how to and need extra help to learn it, when

For every human accomplishment; every single bit of progress; every invention; every abolishment of some backwards custom; every new idea, every change that has made existence better, more convenient, or even just more fun

There was someone, somewhere, who refused to assimilate.

We offend people's sensibilities, challange everything they stand for(or at least, think they should stand for, but probably never really questioned it), we compromise what they view as sacred and unchangable.

And, they'll continue to ridicule, berate, and persecute us for being different from them, though they'll continue to reap the benefits we provide them.

And, though you may try to change, silence, and suppress us; you never will.

Because all you can do, is what's considered acceptable.

And, ultimately, it's WE who determine what is acceptable.

Everything that is normal, and acceptable now, is so because some freak who everyone said was too stupid or too stuborn to learn to do it the "right", "socially appropriate" way introduced it as a radical new concept at one time.

So you see, dad, even if I'm not some great catalyst of social reform, as long as you go around without your periwig or top-hat on, and you ridicule me for wearing mis-matched
shoes you ARE a hypocrite.

A Semi-Rant about my Father.

2006-08-21T20:30:35Z

Dear Journal,

I finally moved back into the dorms. I'm very happy about this, because at both my mother and father's houses things are too chaotic.

I rarely rant about anything my mother does, because, though she and I both make mistakes(as all people do), when one of us offends the other she and I are able to have open civil discoarse about it to work toward improvment, so she rarely makes me feel like venting. There is never open discoarse with my father.

His good moods are very fragile, and the relationship is overly formal.

And my father, while he throws around plenty of money, and ensures that we are fed, is nevertheless, inadequate as a parent. He should study up on the Harlow monkey experiment to learn that providing alone is not enough.

He won't take the time to get to know his children. He makes the worst assumptions possible about them. He has a horrendous temper. He never ever asks why people do what they do or tries to understand things from their point of view. He has a real tendancy to push people away.

I can't imagine that he thinks it's all everyone else and he's doing everything right, when all four of his children are turning out to be profoundly depressed and have such an abormal relationship with him and the only constant is having him as our father.

He's also got to be more careful. Nikki is more fragile than he realizes, she's a very good girl despite what he thinks about she and her boyfriend. Also, all this over achieveing may look great on college applications, but he just doesn't know what he's doing to her. She's under way too much pressure. She's 16 years old. He just has to let her alone and give her a chance to be a kid once in a while, instead of a beatiful polished, framed mirror, that he can reflect himself in.

He sees her as his only shot at having one perfect, normal, kid out of the lot of us, but he's ruining the chances of that, by what he's doing to her.

He just doesn't understand.

I'm grateful for all the good he does, and I know he's trying. I know he's better than he used to be, but he's really still not there yet. It would be better if he could just look at himself objectively. Admit when he's wrong and apologize instead of accusing everyone else of being crazy or liars.

I know he's trying and I really do feel sorry for him. I hope he sorts it all out soon, because Dani and Nikki are almost grown up. As it stands now, I think that if we were all adults and he was old and sick, I'd be the only one to come visit him.

Meme

2006-08-16T19:30:00Z

1. What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with?
I never have "slept with" anyone.

2. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
White briefs.

3. What is the song you want played at your funeral?
Well, if it's at my funeral, i'm probably not going to hear it, so what song it is doesn't have that big of an effect on me. I think "Seasons in the Sun", might make a good funeral song, though.

4. Would you tell your parents if you're gay?

When I was 15 I told my parents I thought I might be gay or bisexual or something, and the only two people I ever dated were girls. It was kind of funny when I told my mom, because she was all "OMG! Cool! Now I can join one of those 'parents of gay and lesbian teens' clubs!"

5. What would your last meal be before getting executed?
If I'm about to be executed, eating is kind of a moot point.

6. Beatles or Stones?
Beatles

7. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who?
Dammit! I think there might be a moral imperative to chose myself... But, if it HAD to be someone else, I guess I would chose someone waiting in line at that euthanasia clinic in Sweden.

8. Beer, wine or hard liquor? I don't drink alcohol.

9. What is the thing most important to you right now?
Learning

10. What are your plans for the future?
(what happened to number 11?) To graduate college, become a teacher, and also an autism rights lobbyest and fight attrocities like: http://thiswayoflife.org/murder.html

12. Do you walk around the house naked?
yes.

13. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
I only ever tasted alcohol once, and it was when my mom let me have a sip of wine when i was nine years old. That was not enough to get me drunk. So the answer is unknown.

14. Where is your best friend?
I do not know.

15. what color hair do you have?
Brown

16. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
Blind

17. Do you have any special talents?
yes

20. Favorite hateful thing to do to someone?
I usually try to avoid hatefulness, but I guess the closest would be when someone makes me angry and I try to sound like Dr. House at them.

21. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
The Brave Little Toaster

22. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
set down my back-pack and my satchel.

23. When's the last time you went on a date?
I'm not sure how to tell whether or not something is a date. Generally I think someone has to say something like "We are now officially girlfriends", or "It's a date", in order to know. That last time I went somewhere with someone whose official girlfriend I was, was four years ago.

24. Do you like horror or comedy?
Niether that much really, but I suppose i like horror a little more.

26. Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
I never have made out.

28. If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
I'm not straight, and also I wouldn't do it with a person of the same sex.

29. Where do you want to live when you are old?
On the planet Vulcan.

30. Who is the person you can count on most?
Violet

31. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
Douglas Adams

32. What did you do last night?
stayed up really late, on the computer.

33. Favorite drinking game?
I don't play drinking games.

34. What did you dream last night?
Oh...I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt that Ed and I went to go eat at madhatters. I remember that Ed was wearing a dress and I was wearing my hat. and two waitors were there, and one of them said too Ed, "What would you two like to eat?"

And, the other waitor said to that waitor "You impertinent fool! Can't you see SHE'S the gentleman of the relationship!?(and pointed to me), you should ask HER to order for her and her date!", And, Ed and I were just standing there watching them argue about it.(sorry Ed. That's the true story of what I dreamt)

35. What is your favorite sport to watch?
I don't like to watch sports.

36. When was the last time you got laid?
I never did get laid.

37. What is your new obsession?
House, M.D.

38. If you could take back one thing in your past, what would it be?
Nothing. I've watched enough sci-fi to know, that if you change one thing in the past, you generally tend to create disturbing alternate time lines.

Survey

2006-08-16T06:28:19Z

1. My ex was ~ Dull

2. I am listening ~to the sound of the air conditioner

3. Maybe I should ~ become a secret spy

4. I love ~ Star Trek

5. My bestfriend(s) ~ are cool

6. I don't understand ~ what "hell of a" means.

7. I lost ~ My marbles

8. People say ~ "Irregardless", when they mean "regardless".

9. The meaning of my screen name is ~ a Star Trek reference

10. Love is ~ egotism by proxy

11. Somewhere, someone is ~ determining the fate of the world

12. I will always ~ (doesn't make sense because I wont "always" anything.)

13. Forever seems ~ long

14. I never want ~ House, M.D. to be cancelled

15. My mobile phone ~ doesn't get much use, besides when i talk to my parents.

16. When I wake up in the morning ~ think about what ever i dreamt

17. I get annoyed when ~ people think that vegetarians eat fish

18. Parties are ~ Social occasions meant for forming and maintaining alliances.

19. My pet is ~ Ill

20. Kisses are the best when ~ they're exchanged between people who are not me.

21. Today I ~am up at 1:13 AM, playing on the computer.

22. Tomorrow I will ~ go to a Thai restaraunt with Jose

23. I really want ~ unlimited power over time, space, and matter. ;-)

The Post-Apocalyptic Survival Test ...My Results Suck!

2006-08-16T05:54:27Z

Dead
You scored 15 Strength, 53 Intelligance, 61 Morality, and 39 Survival Rate!

Sorry.. you just didn't quite have what it takes to survive. Try a couple of pushups.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Strength

You scored higher than 99% on Guile

You scored higher than 99% on Morality

You scored higher than 99% on Survival Rate

Link: The Post-Apocalyptic Survival Test written by Blair-bot on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

zath_42 @ 2006-08-14T01:32:00

2006-08-14T08:08:09Z

Dear Journal,

I haven't updated in a long while. I don't know why but I've been very tired lately. Anyhow, a lot a lot a lot has been going on.

Right now, i'm kind of mad at my dad, because he was yelling at me for using swear words. You would say that Magneto was an asshole for abandoning Mystique, right? Because i think he was and i don't see anything wrong with saying that.

Anyhow, my dad uses swear words too, and he thinks that when he says them their funny and clever, like the time he kept calling Asperger Syndrome "Ass-burner's syndrome", but somehow when i say swear words it's bad.

Anyhow, Magneto WAS a total asshole for abandoning Mystique, and i stand by my position!

Anyhow, he also told me that I shouldn't have said "Bullshit" in front of the chaplain at dinner last night.

But, there was nothing wrong with me saying it.

1), because in this context "Bullshit" was not even a swear word, it was the name of a show,

and
2) I've heard the chaplain curse before.

Anyhow, that was a very awkward dinner. The Chaplain, who married my dad to my step-mom, and is a pretty close family friend, is moving away. So, we were having a little going away dinner with her last night. We had it at this little Thai restaraunt, and it was a really swell restaraunt, with a fish tank, and paper lights, and tofu.

Anyhow, in the midst of dinner The Chaplain started asking me religious questions. I'm not usually asked direct questions about my view of religion, and therefore, i normally dont' talk about it.

But, The Chaplain was asking me very direct questions, and before i knew it, all attention at the table was directed toward me.

I was very nervous, and feeling extremely outnumbered(4:1).

Anyhow, she made really stupid arguments, i thought. She said she knew god existed because she could FEEL him, and i said that was just far to subjective.

The contradictions(such as god aparantly not knowing if knowlege is good or bad, and also not knowing if he made man or beast first) to her, may have been transcription errors, and I argued that therefore the whole thing could be one big transcription error.

She tried to reconcile the contradictions by saying that god leads different people to different passages, and the bible has different meanings for differnt people. And, i argued that the bible didnt say anything about having different meanings for different people. I think people just make up their own religion around Christianity, but that's not part of it.

And, she also didn't care about blatant contradictions with reality, like the impossibility of Noah's Ark. She said that kind of a thing wasn't important to her. Not important to her!? I'm sorry, but if i'm going to stake the entire foundation of my reasoning on something, accuracy is VERY important to me!

I also disputed the idea of faith that the bible says to belive in it based on faith and faith is believing in something there isn't enough evidence for, and they admitted that that was true, but the point was brought up that i "have to admit that there are things you just can't explain."

And I said that if one can't explain things, it's better to acknowlege that one can't explain them, rather than believe in explainations that logic dosn't support.

I also argued that the question of primary cause simply pushes the question one step back;

if you follow pascal's wager to it's logical conclusion it's best to practise Islam, because it has the worst hell, and therefore not practicing it carrys the most risk;

I also noted that belief is not a choice, one can't simply chose to believe in something without sufficient evidence;

and also that the historical evidence in favor of Christianity would'nt lead people to the same conclusions if people weren't just trying to find ways to make it fit, and you could construe history to fit just about any made up story if you wanted to.

Next, she told me that i have to read the book "The Case For Christ".

She's a chaplain. She didn't have enough arguments of her own prepared, so she tells me to go read a random book. Allegedly all readers of this book will summarily side with her, and thus she wins the argument. I thought that that was a rather cheap cop-out.(i am going to read the book. But, i have been reading/thinking about this since i was 15 years old. that's why _I_ had arguments prepared.)

I tried to continue on about how there simply wasn't enough evidence and she said "That's your opinnion now, wait until after you read the book".

(fyi, it was somewhere around this time that i mentioned Penn & Teller's Bullshit. She said "Will you agree to read The Case for Christ?" and I said "Will you agree to read "The Case Against God?"

And then after thinking about it, i realized that The Case Against God was really more about semantics, and the arguments on the Penn&Teller episodes about the bible, and creationism, would be more in the same vein as the arguments in the book she recommended, so recommended that instead.)

Anyhow, it was around here that I accidentally turned the arguent from one about why there isn't enough evidence to support god's existence, to why if the Christian god were real, i wouldn't worship him.

She said that I would believe once i read that book, and I said that even if that were the case I wouldn't worship a character like the christian god and i would rather just go to hell, because the Christian god is arrogant, chauvanistic, and violent.

I was talking about how in the bible, god is said to have given orders to bash in babies heads, kill women and children, rape and plunder and all that jazz.

Everyone's justifications for this were just wacky. I think the Chaplain was the only other person at the table familiar with the passages where god tells people to rape eachother.

My dad said that people belonged to god anyhow, so they were his to do with as he wanted. I said that that was completely unethical, if you create sentient lifeforms,it doesn't give you the right to order the bashing in of babies heads, and what not.

And my dad also argued that maybe it was part of some bigger plan that i didn't understand, and I said that i didn't care what kind of a plan was going on, these things were simply not justifiable. That, if there were some random superbeing that was making plans which involved telling people to wage war on eachother, and rape people, and kill innocent children and animals,

that i'd rather go to hell then worship the bastard.

The chaplain's son also brought up the argument that that was in the OLD testament. Sorry, that one doesn't float with me. I don't care if it's in the old testament, the new testament, the new, improved, super-testament-o-matic, ordering your armies to bash in babies heads, and rape all the virgins, is just not cool with me in any kind of a testament.

Anyhow The Chaplain said that she admitted that Christianity was a violent religion, and that she struggled with those passages too, and my dad was like "Those passages are difficult for me too."

and I said "they're not difficult for me. They're not difficult for me at all. It's very easy for me to see that that's wrong."

Anyhow, the whole thing was VERY awkward. But, when i got up to go to the lavatory, and came back, The Chaplain had ordered me some dessert, to make up for "if i felt gained up on", and i didn't actually want the dessert because all the anxiety had put me off my apetite.

Anyhow, fortunately, the dinner conversation changed, to more casual topics, and was fortunately diverted away from me. The desultory prattle of my dinner companinions continued long into the evening.

I was glad, as this affored me the opprotunity to pretend that everyone had forgotten the evening's earlier conversational disaster. I don't generally discuss religion with my dad, I try to avoid the topic as much a possible.

Anyhow, I think my arguments would have been much more dramatic, had i not lost, right along with my apetite, my ability to look at anyone or inflect my voice, toward the very beginning of the conversation.

Dammit! Why didn't i remember my all purpose Data answer to questions to which I don't want to respond. "That is a topic of protractive discussion. Now may not be the appropriate time." I used to say that when people asked me about being a vegetarian... I should have said that when she started interrogating me about whether or not i accept jesus christ as my lor and savior...

Anyhow, the next moring getting ready for church was EXTREMELY awkward. So, yeah...

I would love to write about my party, but i'm just so tired right now and i kind of needed to rant a bit. I'll write about my party tomorow.

G'night ^_^

Book Meme

2006-07-30T04:31:23Z

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

(a) For 5x^2+2x-4, a=5, b=2, and c=-4. The discriminant is b^2-4ac=2^2-4(5)(-4)=84.

Since 84 is positive and not a perfect square, there are two distinct irrational solutions. First,write the equation in standard form as x^2-10x+25=0.

zath_42 @ 2006-07-27T19:43:00

2006-07-28T00:50:32Z

Dear Journal,

Oy, I have had so much stress lately. My mom is moving, my sister's cat is lost, my dog is sick, my Aunt(aunt/cousin) is having family issues and is down for a visit, my other aunt is coming down for a visit...

Also, to make matters worse, I've managed to make my mom's roommate angry with me.

GRrrr! Has anyone ever listened to this singer called "Shakira"? She is very annoying. Very very annoying. Yet somehow I can't stop listening to her. WHYYYYYY!? It's so weird.

Lately my brain has been seeming to do that a lot lately. Disagree with itself. When I sign on to Launch.com to watch videos, before the video you select comes on, there's a commercial.

Lately, Shakira commercials have been coming on a lot, and they have a sound clip of her song "don't bother". It is a stupid song. But, after hearing this sound clip almost everytime I go to listen to my music, it started getting stuck in my head. Now, I just keep getting the song stuck in my head.

Usually, when I like a song, I only listen to that one song, over and over and over continuously. The repetativeness really annoys other people if they are around me at the time. But, OK, I dont' even like this song, but I can't stop listening over and over to it.

The story line of the song is stupid. She's angry at an ex-lover, and she's telling him she's glad they broke up anyhow, and she's glad she's not his type. But, she's obviously not glad about it, she's very angry about it. She's making spiteful remarks about his new love interest and saying she's more than he deserves, and in the video she destroys his car.

She's obviously very confused because she's making insults at him, yet also talking about how much she loves him, and that she would move to a communist country for him, which to me just seems like a stupid line. She's also telling him that things are going to go badly for him and his new girlfriend. She also says that she'll be fine, so "don't feel sorry", and "don't bother, be unkind."

which I think is fairly superfluous because from the sound of things that's what he was planning on doing anyway, and he doesn't feel sorry.

Also, this video is laughable. Just go watch it, just once(it's on launch.com "don't bother"); it's almost unbelieveable.She reminds me of the spoofy Britney Spears esque pop-star archetype from the movie "Just Friends." She's being way overly exagerated, and she bites his ear while he's sleeping, and acting like some kind of an animal, and at one point in the song she's walking all crazily acting like a zombie.

Also, she's breaking his car, and it's acting like some kind of a voodoo doll or something.

And yet, everytime the song ends, I listen to it again. Aha! I think what it is, is the sound of it. The story line sucks, the video is idiotic, but it sounds cool like "Heart of Glass" and that one song "better off alone".

It's the voice. That's what it is. Shakira has a voice almost like Cher. Maybe even better than Cher. She's got remarkable range, and she's a lot better at singing in a lower key than most females are.

Yeah, but "heart of glass", and "better off alone", and Cher aren't nearly as annoying as Shakira.

So, her voice is really good and the sound is really good, but the song itself and the music video are obnoxious. Blah... I'm going to go keep listening to it.

zath_42 @ 2006-07-23T00:31:00

2006-07-23T05:32:08Z

If You Ruled the World: by oomarilynmonroe
Username
national religion
Type of Government
How you take over
You would name it
You would overthrow	ticbataca
Your second in command would be	akuma_river
Your sex slave is	edtheroach
Commander of the military:	iheartapes
Put to death for insubordination	neuroticsquirrl
Figure head in the puppet government	iheartapes
You are overthrown by	ticbataca

Quiz created with MemeGen!

zath_42 @ 2006-07-21T00:45:00

2006-07-21T05:46:13Z

You Are Jean Grey

Although your fate is often unknown, you always seem to survive (even after death).
Your mind is your greatest weapon, literally!

Powers: telepathy and telekinesis, the ability to project thoughts into the mind of others, communication with animals

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Could I Pass Eight Grade Science?

2006-07-21T05:19:40Z

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Why, yes. Yes I could. :-P These blogthings are addictive.

zath_42 @ 2006-07-21T00:05:00

2006-07-21T05:05:48Z

You Are: 40% Dog, 60% Cat

You and cats have a lot in common.
You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude.
However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

zath_42 @ 2006-07-20T15:55:00

2006-07-20T21:38:39Z

Dear Journal,

Yestarday my step-mom, Step-grandmother, and I were out for our evening walk. Then Jan told me that she had saved an injured possum. "You didn't touch it, did you?" I asked.

She was like, "Well, let me tell you the story." and she told me that she had seen, lying on the road a possum flapping around and had taken it to the vet. Then she said that the next day, she had gotten a message on her phone from the vet. She said "Here, listen." and gave me her phone. The message in a man's voice said:

"The possum that you brought in was very sick, and I did an autopsy on him. Um, he did die. It turns out it had a highly contageous strain of transdermal ensephalitus. It can be transmitted to all species of mammal. You need to get in contact with the center of disease control and prevention imediately, anyone who came into contact with it needs imediate medical attention. You should call this number ---------- I repeat, this is highly contageous and very dangerous."

And I was wondering why my step-mom was walking around like this and not at the hospital. "Transdermal" implied a strain of ensephalitus that would be spread through skin to skin contact and I was thinking how glad I was that I generally avoid that, but then started worrying that I had probably just damned myself by touching Jan's phone.

"Well, do you have this, transdermal ensephalitus!?" and she was like, "Do you know what that is?" And I was like, "It's an infection on the brain...did you call the CDC!?"

I started increasing the distance between Jan and I. And also feeling dizzy and ill.

She said, "Well, let me tell you the story. When I saw the possum on the road, it was just flopping around. I went and got a box, to pick it up with, and I wasn't going to touch it, I was going to scoop it up with the lid.

and then Danny(her co-worker) came over, and he's a real country boy, and he saw me, and just picked it up by the tail, and put it in the box. Then, I took it to the vet, and the woman at the front desk touched it, and said she had thought he had been attacked by a dog, whereas I thought he had been hit by a car..."

Jan was going on and on, about what seemed like a lot of irrelevant information. I put my shirt up over my nose and mouth, and continued increasing the distance between us. Though it didn't seem like the time since I had touched Jan's phone had been a long enough incubation period, I seriously felt like I was about to drop dead."

"So did you go to the hospital!?" I said. And she said "I called the number that the vet left on the phone, and at first I couldn't get through. finally when I did, they told me that it could only be spread by touch. And I said that I hadn't touched the possum, but Danny had. And they said that was way not good.

And they asked me if i was sure I hadn't touched it and I said yes. And they said that it was very contagious and very important for Danny to get to the hospital right away. And, I was looking for him, but couldn't find him. And they asked me if he had a family, and I said he had a wife and two kids. And they said 'oh no. oh, no, that is not good.'"

And, I felt a little less nervous that Jan hadn't touched the possum, but not entirely. How could they just take her word for it? I still thought we should all be at the hospital, and this Danny fellow shouldn't have been out and about spreading this thing.

It occurred to me that everyone seemed to be very much under-reacting to the situation. "Why does no one seem to be grasping the seriousness of this situation?" I asked Jan. She kind of laughed at me. This whole thing was starting to seem a little implausable.

"...Are-are you playing some kind of a joke on me?" I asked. And then she laughed, and said that Danny had played the joke on her. That after she took the possum to the vet, Danny had left the message on her phone. left his own number for her to contact, and it turned out she was talking to him, not a CDC person.

She also played the same joke on my father, and he fell for it. She was very amused by how realistic Danny had sounded.

It turns out, the possum had a simple, easily treated injury. Still, I would recommend against picking up injured possums.

zath_42 @ 2006-07-20T15:03:00

2006-07-20T20:27:14Z

Dear Journal,

My dog, Gus, is dying. He's been really sick lately. Eating less, but putting on a lot of weight. Drinking a lot of water. Getting really tuckered out for no appearant reason.

We thought maybe he needed his thyroid medicine adjusted.

He also had some kind of a tumor on his neck, which burst open and bled.

And he kept acting like e had arthritus in his back legs. Also, he sometimes would urinate in the house.

My dad took him to the vet, and they said there was something unusual about his heart beat, and he needed to be taken to a special vet at a university.

My dad took him to the vet at the univerity, where he got the tumor removed and biopsied, and they also did many tests on him.

A few days later, I was at my mom's house and my dad called me on the phone. He told me that the vet found out that Gus's adrenal glands were overproducing. That is why he was getting tuckered out so much.

She thought maybe there was a problem with his adrenal glands, but when she checked them, they were both regular and semetrical, just enlarged, which indicated a problem with the brain. Also, he liver is dammaged.

She sorted out that in addition to his pre-existing thyroid problem, he also has Cushing's disease. It is a cancerous tumor on his pituitary gland. I had suspected this before, because I saw it on an episode of House, M.D.

On an episode of House called "Heavy" there was a little girl who was very obese for no appearant reason, and she had Cushing's disease.

Anyhow, he also doesn't have any kind of a problem with his back legs, just a neurological effect.

The vet could not recommend any treatment who's benefits would outweigh the risks,that would be likely to be effective. She could also not give any definititive estimate as to how long until Gus dies.

She said that we should have him euthanized if:
-he refuses to eat his regular dog food for 48 hours
-he develops more severe neruological effects, such as becoming aggressive or developing chronic incontinence
-he appears to be in constant pain

He seems to be alright for now, in anycase.

zath_42 @ 2006-07-17T20:06:00

2006-07-18T01:10:58Z

The most important strategy for staying ahead in broken-home-onomics, is knowing when to keep quiet and say no more than is necessary to maintain allainces.

zath_42 @ 2006-07-15T22:54:00

2006-07-16T04:06:45Z

GRRRRRRRR!!!!

I hate being a go-between between my mom and dad. I hate hate hate it.

My mom is so immature. She refuses to answer the phone. She wont let me answer my own phone. My dad was calling, and my mom grabbed my satchel(with my phone in it), and ran with it into the bathroom, so that I wouldn't be able to answer the phone!!!

All because my sister is who-knows-where, and my mom doesn't want to get in trouble with my dad for letting her be there.

I'm going to be in so much trouble for not answering the phone. This doesn't make any sense, what am I supposed to do, when my parents are issuing conflicting orders!?

Answer the phone! Don't answer the phone! Aaaaaah!

How can I be in trouble for doing what my parent says!? Because my other parent says the opposite! It's an unsolvable paradox! Right and wrong have no meaning now! It's like the universe has lost its cohesion! I hate it when this happens!!!

My mom is getting so mad at me for wanting to answer the phone, but she has no idea! I get in trouble for not answering the phone! She says I'm with her, so I have to follow her rules, but later I'm going to be with dad, and I'm really going to get it!

And it's all going to reflect badly on her, and my dad isn't going to let me come over here, because he's going to be saying how irresponsible my mom is. And then he's going to be saying how disrespectful and ungreatful I am, and things are just going to spiral out of control, like always!

And, I especially hate it when my mom is telling me to lie to my dad, and gets mad at me when I wont do it. That's probably why she lied to me, so that I could tell her lie to dad, and then get introuble for lying, myself. Then, I get in trouble, and she refuses to answer the phone, and she doesn't even get in trouble.

Besides, and here's what I told my step-mom, WHY WOULD I LIE TO PROTECT DANIELLE!?!?! OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, SHE'S PROBABLY THE LAST PERSON I WOULD LIE TO PROTECT!!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! It's like living in a mental institution!!!! I am THE ONLY sane member of this family!!!!!